The old motto is, watch what you wish for! You just might get it! If you wished for being a warrior for truth, first you have to fully embrace the truth, about yourself, about the world about everything. That is a heavy cross to bear sometimes until you make peace with the truth. The truth is, we're not perfect, we have some seriously flawed parts of the human condition, and perfection of that is in possible. The truth is, the world is a very mixed up, crazy, nutty place, and beautiful at the same time. How can anyone make sense of it all? There comes a time when you just have to make peace with all that.

It is not unusual to have depresseion. When I first learned how to meditate, it was wonderful for the first four days. Then, I suddenly started crying and couldn't stop for a week, and I had no idea what was going on. This meditation thing just opened a huge can of worms that I had no idea how to deal with.

All I can say is to take one day at a time and embrace whatever challenge is in front of you. Awakening, enlightenment, it's a never ending process that goes on for your entire lifetime. The end is never reached. It's about the journey. So don't take it too seriously, it will pass.

You don't find your way back out of the depression, by the way, you find your way through to an entirely different place. There is no going back.

Don't feel like you are failing in any way. This is a tough condition to break a habit of, this human condition, the mind. All you can do is stick to it, be persistent, and keep working on it, and sooner or later the door will open. Don't worry, just keep at it. It's a lifetime project and getting started in quieting the mind is the hardest part. I suggest having some kind of timer, beeper, or post it note reminders around your house to remind you to quiet your mind in the moment it triggers you to do so. That will help develop a new habit, that's all that's going on. You'll get it! Don't worry. Just be at peace with the moment, even if that entails having an active mind, and that in itself can be the doorway.

Aaah, the old mind twister questions that go around in circles until you finally have to give up! That's what it comes down to. Finally, at some point, you just have to just give up on figuring it all out. The mind simply cannot follow where YOU can go. Yes, it is true, finally, you just have to be satisfied with not knowing.

I personally don't believe we have free choice. If it's all one being living all these lives, then where is the free choice to be separate or not separate? I believe we're all just the expression of Godself exploring, and it seems like there is free choice while Godself explores all aspects of itself, but in the big picture, there is no free choice. You are part of Godself whether you want to be or not. You are God dreaming whether you want to be that or not.

New videos will be coming out this fall. I was in a really bad car accident about two years ago as a passenger in the back seat and it's been a long journey to get back to health. I'm getting closer to feeling back to myself again, although there's still a lot of pain in my neck and back and I can't feel much in my right leg or arm. Fortunately everything still works ok, but it's been work to get everything back in working condition. I've been having to focus on that for a long time now and I'll be back to doing videos again. I plan on doing a lot this fall to catch up with all the stuff I'd love to share! Thank you for asking. As for the question part of this, just ask one!

I'm so sorry, my dear. I have been absent and didn't even know this was set up for me to answer questions here! We've had some trouble getting this website back up, it went down for a while, and it was one of the things I asked for, but no one told me it was actually here ready with questions! I'm sorry that this is the first time I've come to answer questions here, Really, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was here! What a pleasant surprise though, I'm glad that it is, and it is a wonderful place to interact with you all.

When there is fear, the best question to ask yourself is "What is the worst thing that can happen if my fear comes true?" What if your fiance DID find someone better than you at work? What then? Will you survive it? Was it perhaps for the best if that person didn't value you to have that happen before you get married? Visit your deepest fear fully and see what it has to teach you, open for you, and free you from. Your fear is your teacher. Your fear is the doorway to freedom.

If God was thinking that about you, then God is thinking that about itself! You are God! There are no parts of God that are better or worse. There are only points of perspective of God's consciousness that are different. That's it. There is no human that is better than another or one that is more valid than another. All aspects of Godself are valid and valuable to Godself. All points of view in the universe are important to Godself. It wants to look at itself from every angle, and you are one of the angles God is looking at iself from and also an angle God is looking at through other perspectives.

Measure your value in not what you do, or accomplish, but that you are one of many valuable and important perspectives that God looks at the universe (it's own imagination) from. That is your true value.

As for being trapped in the dream, yup, you're in it for a lifetime!

In my early 20s I had one after the other of abusive relationships, short ones, all in a row, and then I realized there had to be something in me that had to change because I was attracting this. It wasn't exactly that conscious, because at the time I didn't know anything about the law of attraction or anything like that, but something in me just knew that it had something to do with me.

I decided to take time off from having relationships for a while, and I didn't mean it to be so long, but it was years before I even let the idea of having another relationship in. I just worked on myself spiritually for a long time and I wasn't interested in playing out any kind of dysfunctionality in relationships. It wasn't worth it and it was a distraction from the deep spiritual work I had to do. It wasn't like I didn't have any offers for relationships, but I avoided them like the plague because I did not want to experience my own human condition through someone else's dysfunction.

After that long period of staying away from relatiionships, I began to be open to them again, after I had done a lot of my spiritual homework, had a lot more self worth, and decided to dip my toe in the water again to see if it was safe to go back into the relationship pool. To my surprise, I attracted a wonderful man who was gentle, kind and sweet. He didn't end up being The One, but we're still friends, and the next one is the one I've been with for 14 years now. 

So bypass lots of troublesome relationships and do your own spiritual homework, get a sense of self worth solidly in place first before you are in another relationship. This doesn't mean that maybe there isn't a relationship that can help you with that, that' might be the case, so it's always an individual path. Sometimes relationships are exactly the right medicine for doing your spiritual homework! However, if you are lacking self worth, relationships are not going to help you much because you'll attract someone who will manifest that for you.

As for the fact that he doesn't like that you're not a virgin, I'd get rid of that one! He doesn't love you for who you are. There is a social status quo he's looking for, or some other kind of weird ego thing. He's not the right one for you, and neither is any other man who will hold it against you that you're not a virgin. This is the 2000s baby! It isn't the 1st century BC! Girls aren't married off when they're 12 to the highest bidder in the kingdom anymore as a virgin these days.

Yes, it is a universe full of synchronicity, a great symphony, a choreographed dance. It is the Maha Leela, the great dane, the grand illusion. In it, everything is interconnected and things are happening in accordance with all other things. It's a warning and a calling both, depending on the situation. It is a blessing and a curse, this univeral synchronicity, it is all a paradox. Just enjoy the ride.

As for any recommendations of teachers or colleagues, I refrain from that, because I don't want anyone to be led to someone just by a recommendation from me. What if they let you down, show their humanness, or rip you off! Ha! I don't want to be responsible in any way for setting that situation up. You just never know who, spiritual teacher or not, is not as in integrity as they might appear to be. I always feel that people are led to who they are supposed to be led to when they simply search. The internet has made it so easy to find what you're searching for these days! It as a lot harder before the interenet to find quality quidance or know that certain people even offered it or that it existed. Just keep doing the internet searches, and you'll be led to the right poeple, the right articles, and the right material that will help you along on your path.

Be careful of the trap of extreme detachment. Often what happens for a beginner in the non-duality teachings is that extreme detachment as adopted as enlightenment, but that is a distorted version of enlightenment. Detachment from everything and the illusion itself is not the goal. The goal is simply to not take it all so seriously. However, you are a human, you are Godself wanting to experience fully what it is like to be that human in a human reality, and by becoming so extremely detached from human folly you deny Godself the true experience of being a human! 

It's not about being in peace all the time. It's not about 24/7 bliss. It's about fully experiencing everything! Even being a human with human emotions, human mind activity, human challenges. There is nothing wrong with fully experiencing the human condition. That's what God wants to do. Yes, it's not always peaceful to be a human, and sometimes it downright sucks! But your task is to fully be in the moment to observe whatever is going on as a human, and as consciousness.

It takes some time to find the balance between being fully aware that you are eternal self, immortal, in a dream in God's mind, and being a down to Earth human. Don't feel like you are alone in this challenge. It will come back into focus and balance. Just be fully with your human self as a valid part of your whole experience. You're eternal self who came here to see what it's like to be a finite human, so engage! Fully.

Yup, it's darn hard to forgive someone who you have done a lot for who you treated so well, and they don't even appreciate it or acknowledge it. I'm sure familiar with that theme. I cally it the savior complex, where we go out of our way to help someone who really seems to need it, and then what they do it turn on you. I suddenly realized what was happening and why they were getting mad at me!

I found that by helping people out of their dire circumstances, going out of my way, above and beyond the call of duty, even sacrificing to make it better for them, there was a dysfunctionality to that. First of all, by helping or saving others, I found approval for myself. I have since learned to help others without coming from that place, but that was where I was coming from sometimes wiht these people who I went overboard with to help. The other thing I realized is that their soul spent a lot of time setting that lesson up for them, and here I come and undo it all! No wonder they got mad at me so much and were even unconscious as to why they were getting mad! 

Forgive and forget. It's not their fault, nor is it your fault. The human condition is what it is. Learn what you are supposed to learn from it, that's all you can do with it, and next time see if you can do it differently. Don't be depressed, don't indulge negative emotions too much, and don't see yourself as having failed in any way. Life is full of challenges.

First of all, your English is great! Better than some who it's their first language! Congrats! 

Astral projection comes after some mastery of meditation is acheived. Work, on the meditation first. As for how to do it, gosh, there's a million different answers to that. I have a course on astral projection with some meditation journeys that you can get at our school, University of Metaphysical Sciences http://www.umsonline.org and it's pretty cheap if you order it as a download, twice the price for the physical copy to be sent in the mail, but that would be a great way to get started with it. Sorry if I don't have a better answer, but you asked a really huge question than just can't be answered in a post! It's too big of a subject. How to Astral Project, hmmm.... that's a doosie! 

My experienc with it was a lot of fun, scary sometimes but challenges that made me grow, it's a big world, those astral planes, and it's highly populated with every level of being, from nice ones to really mean ones, tricky ones to angelic ones, and it all depends on you and how you handle everyone you meet there as to what your experience is.

Tip for everyone: Check out GalantaMind nutritional supplement, just google it and you'll find it, it's a really amazing substance that will trigger your lucid dreams, make dream recall much clearer, and will ultimately lead to astral projections, as you can launch astral projections out of a lucid dream, as well.

Use the force, Luke! Aaah, just kidding. I'm not familiar with who you mentioned, but yes, consciousenss is made of something, isn't it? It seems to have a texture, a substance of some sort, but at the same time it's not exactly identifiable. Science is only now just catching up with what spiritual seekers have known for millenia! Finally. Took long enough! It is a good thing that humans have just begun to measure everything they can get their hands on, and it sure is nice to hear they're starting to measure consciousness.

Did you know that when you die, or astral project, that you lose 2 grams of weight as soon as the consciousenss .leaves the body. Now there's something measureable by science! 

Everntually you become more neutral, in varying levels. When you get to a particular state of awareness, you stop acting out either good or bad, and you are simply here, doing whatever you are called to do, but not acting out either extreme.

Thank you for your kind words. Nice video and music too! Very meditative. Keep up the good work in the world! I'm glad we got to meet in the chat at the school chat board.

{{{ Hugs! }}}

I'm sorry your find in a man didn't fully work out. Yes, relationships are not about finding the right person, but rather about deciding if you can live with the bad parts about a person even though you like their good parts. If the baggage they have is something you can't live with, that doesn't work. Yes, I had a similar experience, found a great guy, but he really needed ME to be jealous in order to feel loved and would try to create situations with other girls so I would be. I wasn't, because I don't stay in situations when I see clearly what is going on, and I knew that was what he was trying to do, and even though he was beautiful in every way, that was something I couldn't live with. Either be with me or don't, I'm not interested in games to see if I really love him.

While you might have to let this one, go, take it as a good sign that you are attracting really good options in possible partners! It's a sigh you are on the right path!

If you're not in the right kind of livelihood, good that you are changing things. It's very important to have right livelihood. You can't be making bombs and guns for the military and be at peace in your heart if it is not something you are aligned with. (Not that you are, just an example!)

I can't really tell you where to start, that's only something you can know. Sounds like you already did start! It doesn't really matter what job you do, of course. You can give love in any job you're in. Just tune in to your innermost self, the sat guru within, and you will find your answers on what to do next. You have already started!

Hmmmm... good question. I don't really know how to answer that. For instance, if you have kids, if serving society means you stay with a spouse you don't want to be with anymore in order to be a father to your children, is it really healthy to do that if you're not really good for your children to be around since you're miserable? Every situation is an individual situation, and yes, we all take on responsibilities sometimes that we can't just shirk. Sometimes something isn't working out anymore but you have a responsibility.

The thing to look at is to see if you can still be true to yourself while still carrying on your responsibilities to society. For instance, I don't like office work, or administrative work, and here I have created a really wonderful online school that helps thousands of people all over the world, but now I am doing a job I don't really like that much because I never thought it would lead to me being a biz administrator dealing with endless bureaucratic paperwork ridiculousness and weird stuff like a 3 year lawsuit against religious discrimination that a few people in the dept of edu tried to do. Fortunately we won, but gee, I never thought I'd need a lawyer just to teach people meditation in the world! I'm just a hippy chick from California that got in way over her head with the biz stuff. A school is  a very complicated business to run. I never imagined University of Metaphysical Sciences would have become so much administrative work for me! I just wanted to teach classes, write books and make meditation CDs, and I ended up far from that and doing nothing but paralegal type of stuff, paperwork, and managing a large staff and the logistics of the biz. When I was a little girl that wasn't what I wanted to grow up to be! That's for sure. Some people enjoy that stuff, and the challenges of the newness of it all and figuring it all out was fun for me at first, but once the novelty of it all wore off, it was drudgery.

It's not exactly like I could just run off and do something different. I had a responsibility to society now that I had created the school and people were in it. I have a responsibility to the students, a responsibility to many projects, and a responsibility to staff. However, being a paperwork slave was no longer working out for me as a joyful existence! 

The solution is not simple, but it is doable. We've been in the process of finding an administrative type of manager to take this load off me, or at least share it, so I can do some other things in life that are more joyful, and do the other work I was really meant to do, like work with people and write the books, make the meditation CDs, and facilitate workshops. That is what I'm built for. Even though it's not easy to find what we're looking for, an MBA type of person with a spiritual focus, not a common combination, that's what needs to be done in order to be true to myself and also serve my responsibilities to society.

I don't know how that would apply to a situation like the example with children and a bad marraige relationship. I do feel bad for people with kids and then the marraige breaks up, because that isn't how it was supposed to be for people. There was a time when humans lived in more tribal type communities, and partners weren't these nuclear isolated families. For instance, the celtic people used to have 5 and 10 year contracts for marraige, and they could renew or not if they wanted to. However, the children were still fine because both the father and mother were still around, but they weren't forced to be the only influence on the kids and be in a miserable state together. Communities used to raise the children, not nuclear families with only the parents being the only caretakers of children. It used to be much different. The societal pressures are unwarranted and immense, the way it is set up now.

I don't know what your particular situation is, but there is no quick answer to what you are asking. It is always an individual case, and only you can really find what the right thing to do is. I do think it's possible to still be a good dad or mom to your kids even if the spouse situation needs to go. How to make that come about in a healthy way, that might take some creative thinking.

If you want to change your appearance, go for it! There's no spiritual rules about that. Anything goes. Whatever your creative heart wants to do, then it's your choice. I personally don't like to make permanent outward changes, like peircings and tattoos, because what if I don't like the look later and I can't change it? What if it goes out of style? I like to always leave my options open. If you are young, I would especially go with the temporary look changes rather than permanent ones, because you don't really know yourself well enough yet. That's just my personal preference though and you are an entirely different human! If you want to change your outward appearance in any way you like, that is your right to do! Do it and be happy!

As for apologizing to others you have wronged, yes, that is important. It will really make them feel a lot better and will be such a release for them. I know I sure appreciate it when someone who wronged me apologizes. It happens so seldom, I don't hold my breath for it, but it if happens, it is a really pleasant surprise and one that makes the whole situation more palatable and forgiveable. It's easier for someone you wronged to forgive you if they know you are sorry and acknowledge you did something you shouldn't have.

As for forgiving those who wronged you, yup, that's important too, and like I said, it's easier if they know they did something wrong and apologize to you, but if they don't it's still possible and necessary to forgive them.

Technically, I don't like to use the word "forgive" because is denotes that someone is to blame, at fault and needs to be forgiven, as if you had nothing to do with creating the situation, or attracting it into your life, and so on. I like to use the terms "come to peace with" instead of "forgive" because that acknowledges your part in creating the situation. Sure, someone might have done you wrong, but you attacted it into your life because you wanted to grow from it. It's more important than anything that we all own our part in wahtever is happening in our lives, even if someone else is wronging us. How did we participate in setting that up? How did we contribute to creating the stituation? What in ourselves attracted it? 

Forgive, but realize that really it's a coming to peace with, without blame of another person, since we're all just faulty human condition versions of humanity and we're all just stumbling around bumping into eachother, learning, and experiencing what it is to be a human, really. That's all that's really happening. No one is to blame, really. Not you for doing something wrong, not someone else for doing someting wrong, no one. It's just the silly human condition disease we all have that we're working on evolving, or curing! It's an experiment in consciousness run amuk!

ACIM, great stuff! Enlightenment in a nutshell.

The separation of religions and classes and caste systems has created unbelievable amounts of unnecessary suffering in the world. I am so sorry to hear this has happened. My heart is with you. Why can't you just run off together somehwere else and be happy together? Why obey a caste system that is antiquated, outdated and makes no sense whatsoever? Why not just throw all of that off you and be with each other whether anyone else likes it or not? It is THEY who need to get with the program, not you! Love does not lie. Caste systems and religions do.

What you are faced with is making peace with what you can't have in this moment. That is ultimately one of the hardest expereinces and challenges on Earth. Being separated from what or who you love is a deep wound and a deep pain. Just be with this pain, and realize it for what it is, all around you, and don't deny it. Grieve, because that is exactly what you are going through. You are going through bereavement and grief for the loss of a loved one. Research a little on how to deal with those things, there is a lot of info on the net.

OR, deny the controls that others have over your life and just go get married and tough if they don't like it! That's what I would do! Forget about the family biz you would have inherited if going against someone else's wishes takes that away from you. Forget about what other losses would happen if you just be with the one you love, and you will find another way in life, another path to make a living, exist, whatever it is that comes up. If you're together, at least you will be happy working at having a life in some other way. No one has control of your life but you, and you are obligated to take your own power and use it when you are in a situation like this.

LIke I said before, this is the 2000s baby! Those outdated systems of religions and caste are going the way of the dinosaur. Let them go. Humanity is on the brink of a huge paradigm shift, and you are part of that shift. This is how the shift happens, when people, especially the young generation, throws off old and stuffy ways of being, traditions that are oppressive, and rules that don't let you be free to love who you love. That is how a world is changed. YOU are the change.

OK, well, I don't want you to get in big trouble or anything with this advice, so think very carefully about what you want to do, but be true to your heart and follow your dreams. Those "rules" are not God's rules. They are oppressive human rules that are going to be out the window when humanity wakes up en masse very soon and throws all these oppressive ways of being off of them.

What fun is it for God to rediscover itself if it already knows who it is!!!??? That's why you forget when you come here. God has a big "what if" question in it's mind. "What if I was a human and forgot who I am? What would the path back to self realization be like?" That question has launched the lifetime of experience of each one of us. God wants to see how it would rediscover itself in this situation, and that one and that one and that one, in this lifeform and that lifeform and that one.

There will be a time in human evolution when children stay away after they're born and don't forget so much, but first it takes parents who are awake themselves and encourage the child to stay open. That's what evolution of the human spacies is about. With every generation it gets a little better and better, more and more children stay open. You're on a construction project planet, this is no vacation zone. You're evolving the human species with your particular journey and the contributions you make to the mass consciousness as you evolve the human form to hold more and more consciousness.

Sure would be nice if we would stay open and awake after being born huh? It will happen, but at that point humanity's journey will be an entirely differen kind of journey, then, with a whole different kind of evolution and purpose going on. At that point, humanity will get to start exploring the spiritual goodies upstairs once they have climbed the flight of stairs out of survival level first floor stuff! Right now the next step in human evolution is the heart, and once that evolves en masse in humans, the doors will fly open to entirely different kinds of experiences for humanity as a whole. It won't be unusual then that children stay awake and enlightened. This just isn't that era right now.

Just keep practicing being kind to yourself, and it will become a habit. Whenever you catch yourself criticizing yourself, say something the opposite and reverse the energy. It's just practice! Takes some time to stop the habit of being mean to yourself, especially if it's gone on for a long time. Just be patient, and keep at it.